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Around SBN: NFL Week One: Previews and Predictions for all 15 games

Deal the Nets Out...

We are starting to see the ripple effects from the Agent Zero/Javaris Crittendon scandal...and apparently it is starting from the bottom up, literally, with the New Jersey Nets.  Fanhouse is reporting that Nets management has taken the bold step to ban gambling amongst teammates on team flights.  This makes perfect sense, because everyone knows that the most effective way to eliminate gun related violence is by preventing Devin Harris and Trenton Hassel from playing high stakes Uno on a flight from Newark to Minneapolis.  This is like trying to stop drunk driving by making it illegal for wives to nag their husbands about folding their clothes (which should be illegal on independent grounds).  Yes, there is a causal relationship in some cases...but it's not the root of the problem.  In this case, two grown (very rich) men got into a tiff over a gambling debt, and the martian we know as Gil Arenas took his "joke" a little over the line.  The real problem is you have a guy who operates on a completely different wavelength than the rest of the human population.  Now, because Arenas has the same sense of humor as the bad guy from Inspector Gadget, poor Brook Lopez can't spend his time by winning money from the teammates that are wasting his rare young skill set. 

No wonder the Nets brass can't fix this team, if this is how they fix problems, they probably tried to stop the losing by banning birthday cake.  Seriously, can the Nets spirits get any lower?  Their "home games" are as well attended as an indie movie starring Jessica Simpson and Bronson Pinchot.  When they are on the road, they lose at every stop along the way.  Now, during their miserable road trips they are forced to entertain themselves with in-flight movies like Paul Blart: Mall Cop and 27 Dresses.  If anything, this is going to result in more player on player violence...you don't have to be betting on it, for an old fashioned fist fight to get the adrenaline pumping.  Right now the prospect of being a NJ Net for the rest of this season looks very bleak. 

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What would they do with a Cousin Larry types?

I mean Balky & Jessica Simpson are both the same, naive character who needs a sensible, yet dorky Cousin Larry type to keep them from just wandering off a cliff.

by GrantC on Jan 9, 2010 3:35 PM EST reply actions  

If you added cousin Larry, then you

could promote the movie as a Perfect Strangers reunion, and have Jessica Simpson play one of those stewardess chicks from their building…that would easily out sell a Nets game.

by JS13 on Jan 10, 2010 4:37 PM EST reply actions  

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