My 12 team fantasy football league has been whittled down to the final four, which includes my "Big Boys" squad slotted in the third position. I got lucky last night as the guy I'm pitted against has ridden Drew Brees all season to the top total points in the league, so him not going for 430 yards and 5 TD's and ending this nerve racking weekend before it really got started was quite a 'relief' - I guess. Instead, I now have to nurse my hangover frantically refreshing my 'Matchup' page waiting for the terrible news that TO (my opponents flex position WR) has caught a 99 yard TD or that Chris Johnson (clearly my workhorse RB this season) has twisted his knee and is sitting out the second half.

However, I've realized that the thing that makes me the most furious is seeing guys sitting on my bench putting up big numbers. For example, I started Antonio Bryant in the second WR spot over Braylon Edwards - a ridiculously long pros & cons list went into this decision, particularly that I didn't Rex Ryan to actually let Sanchez air it out a lot in his first game back - but through the first half of the Jets game Edwards has 2 grabs for 73 yards and a TD, which is good for 15 pts in my league and about 3 more points than I am hoping to get from Bryant for the full game later today. Somehow its that decision not to play Edwards that has me more PO'd than Mike Sims-Walker (my opponents 2nd WR) going for 18 pts on Thurs night against the best team in the NFL. Which in retrospect is plain silly - heck Bryant could end up netting me way more than Edwards, but still when i checked the matchup page and saw the 15 show up I let out an audible "Oh no!", as if someone had just run over my wife's cat.

The moral of the story is that the real life team owners, GM's, coaches, etc that question their own decisions (or have them questioned by others) when things don't work out at least have the luxury of not knowing how it would have gone otherwise - while us fantasy owners are stuck staring at the screen and looking at a guy on your own bench ruining your Sunday... Hopefully when our team takes the field, I wont spend the entire game looking at the guy on the end of the bench and wondering if he's got a homerun in him just waiting to jump out.

My personal 'Fantasy' - Braylon Edwards with 8 drops today

Tristan Cockroft - I just wanted to say his name somewhere in this post.

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So the fantasy playoffs have officially begun and I am going against Dallass Clark so I am already getting killed.  I am already down 21 points, and as it stands today I am not sure if my QB is actually gonna play (Brady) and I am starting Maurice "who the fuck?" Morris due to Kevin Smith's exploded knee. I have had a good fantasy year (10-4) and I have never won a ring, and at this point I'd trade my first born child for a taste of fantasy glory.  I have provided my fantasy matchup for ya'll to look at - please tell me I have a chance!  And should I actually start Maurice Morris or should I go with Rim Thighpower (Tim Hightower)?  Detroit fan's have you heard about how they are gonna use Morris and Aaron Brown?  Please guys I need this...I need this.

Me:  Team Name: PenisCopter (dont ask)

Tom Brady

Larry Fitzgerald

Chad Ochocinco

Frank Gore

Maurice Morris

Vernon Davis

Jets D

Nick Folk

VS

My Opponent: Team Name: Cock Poon Moan

Matt  'Slob a Knob" Schaub

Randy "I give boss" Moss

Anquan Blowin Dudes (Boldin)

LT "licks taint"

Cedric Bendoverson (Benson - that one's not funny)

Dal "takes it up the" ass Clark

Cardinals D (I got nothing)

"Nasty" Nate Kaeding (he looks like such a pussy)

PS my scoring is rb's/wr's/te's get a point every ten yards rushing and receiving and 6 points for a td.  QB's get 1 point for every 20 yards passing and 5 points for passing td's.  Kickers get a point for fg's 2 points for fg's over 50 yds - nothing for xp's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuVsLR_2GX0&feature=player_embedded

"The League" sneak peek (via jonlajoie)

If you're anything like me, your fantasy league home page permanently occupies some prime real estate on the bottom of any computer you're sitting in front of.  I haven't installed a security update in years, for the fear that the moment I'm forced to restart my computer, news will break that requires me to immediately spring to action. (Note: never has the phrase "spring to action" been used so inaccurately...mark it)  Seriously, if men think about sex every five seconds then they surely fantasize about their electronic roster every 6.  It is this level of obsession that has FX set to air a new sitcom called "The League".

That being said, is the world ready for a sitcom dedicated fantasy sports?  I applaud the creativity, especially in the elusive sports/comedy/fiction genre, which usually involves some combination of washed up athlete/fish out of water/adorable niece/someone learns something about themself. (Even though it fits the formula, Eastbound and Down is the exception and is an amazing show.) I'm really torn about this, because I find my fantasy league involvement entertaining to no end, however, when someone from a different league starts a story with  "listen to this trade..." I know that  story will invariably end with me taking a fake phone call.  I'm just not sure how much mileage they can get out of this premise.

The promo clip looks pretty funny, and not overly dependent on Fantasy Sports humor.  I'll give it a shot, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

"Pam, not now, my running back's team is at the goal line!"

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I love Fantasy Football as much as Howard Stern loves lesbians.  I love Fantasy Football as much as Andre Agassi loves meth, hell I love Fantasy more than I love most of my extended family.

I have been in a league for 8 years (pre internet days) and I just can't get enough, I spend my Sunday's cooped up in my darkened apartment with the only light coming from the glow of my laptop and the constant flickering of the red zone channel.  It would take a young Pamela Anderson asking me to help her towel off after a shower to get my attention.

I have had more downs than ups and made some really stupid moves.  But I am valiantly still in search of my first ring (I have made 1 Super Bowl and the playoffs 3 times).  One of my league mates (who has two rings) recently called me "The Lord Of No Rings" and I caused quite a commotion when I wrestled him to the ground and attempted to choke him out, it wouldn't have been such a big deal had it not happened in a church... during a funeral.

I am very interested to hear stories of craziness/stupidity/awesomeness that have transpired in your leagues.  I have 2 that readily come to my mind.

In 2000, my buddy, who is in another league had the first pick in his draft and selected Laurence Phillips.  Unclear on the concept much?

One of my league mates drafts Olindo Mare every year because in our league's first year Mare kicked a 50 yard field goal on a Monday night that not only one him his weekly matchup, but knocked his opponent out of the final playoff spot. on the final week of the regular season.

I cant wait to hear the stories of the stupid draft choices, idiotic trades, and pure bad luck that you all undoubtably have.  The best ones will be posted on our front page for the world to see - so don't hold back!

While we at Front Office Fans prefer to critique the poor decisions and applaud the great choices of real life GM's, Owners, Coaches, etc, we would be remiss if we didn't - from time to time - acknowledge those same moves as they happen in the fantasy sports arena.

As someone who watched their fantasy super bowl dreams crash down by Bryan Westbrook's "smart" decision to take a knee late in the 2007 season, I'm very sympathetic of getting hosed by a fantasy player (Westbrook's concussion last night may just screw up my 09 season as well) - but that doesn't mean there aren't all types of stupid moves and genius picks going on around the fantasy sports world on a daily basis. So we will use the Fantasy Land section as a way for us to question and hype the calls fantasy owners around the web are making - so if you're in an open league on Yahoo or ESPN or CBS or really any other popular fantasy site, you better be careful about the moves you make, bc we're watching (and judging).

And if you've got a buddy who just made a terrible trade (say Cedric Benson for Leon Washington), let us know and we'll put him on blast.