The Iverson's in happier times. For the Iverson's happier times included oversized white t's, solo cups, and neck grabs.

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AI has had a rough go as of late, first his daughter became very ill and now his playing career seems to be all but done son.  We at PF feel for AI and respect the hell out of him for his playing style and what he's done for the league.  Clearly, having a sick child is nothing we'd wish on our worst enemy, and it must be a total life ruiner.  Unemployment, however, is not as bad as people make it out to be,  I think people tend to focus on the negatives.  "Answer" (no pun intended) this - When in your life have you been able to watch the entire first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA Tournament in your life?  My guess is never - unemployment 1, haters 0.  But I digress, obviously there is no such thing as true happiness when one of your children is fighting for their life.  But, a ray of sunshine has emerged for Allen, and that ray of sunshine came in the form of divorce papers filed by his wife.  Have you ever seen this women, she is maybe a 4 on her best day and is probably a walk around 2.  She definitely isn't keeping up her end of the bargain, AI deserves much better and now he will have the opportunity to have a hotter chick or chicks that can help take him take his mind off some of his troubles.  Now it is time for AI to go get himself something more like Layla Kiffin and less like Layla Ali.

I guess we should all be thankful that Vince Wilfork doesn't stuff the run in nothing but a jockstrap...

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With the recent end to the college season and as the Super Bowl inches closer, I was beginning to get that uncomfortable feeling that settles in in mid February each year when I realize its going to be at least 6 months until I get football back in my life. So in my searches for alternative football options, I recently was turned on to the "LFL" - which most non-perverts will know as the league version of the Lingerie Bowl. I recall a few years back when they came up with this concept and ran a PPV special during the Super Bowl halftime featuring a bunch of scantily clad broads bouncing around a football field, but I had no idea it had actually been turned into a league!

While the concept sounds exciting at its core - I mean football + hot naked chicks, how could you go wrong?! - I think its sort of like Communism; really good on paper, not so much in reality. I checked out a few of the highlight reels of aptly named LFL teams like the Los Angeles Temptation and Dallas Desire and it left me a little confused at what I was supposed to be watching for. Although they do seem far more athletic and serious than I expected, they cant possibly be pushing this product as high quality football action - heck they literally throw like girls. And I don't really get the sexiness vibe, as the chicks are spending the whole time brute-ing it up and twisting ankles and tearing ACL's isnt really my cup of tea. I sort of understand the audience for the WNBA - independent, athletic women looking to feel empowered (and their sissy husbands) - but who is turning up for these LFL events? Is it guys who just love football so much that they'll go to anything that advertises passing the pigskin or is it the same creepers who attend porn conventions to get autographs of their favorite "actresses"? I guess the reality could be that its more like a WWE event and all about the entertainment and the show, and not so much about the action on the field.

Either way, I'm pretty sure when we put the type of league to a vote that mine will not be going towards running an LFL franchise - but if thats what the fans want who am I to argue... bring on hot half-naked chicks!

Kurt Warner seen here screaming at his wife to "Get Hotter!!". Amazingly it actually worked.

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I have a lot of respect for Kurt Warner, he strikes me as an all around good guy who put in his time and against all odds  carved out himself a HOF career.  Brenda, his broad has always kind of rubbed me the wrong way.  I think it stems from her calling into radio stations and bitching about how he should've been traded during his time in St. Louis.  I was also put off by her platinum colored-spikey- lesbian haircut.  Needless to say I was quite happy to see on last night's Sunday Night Football telecast that she had ditched the dyke mullet and gone for a much hotter looking long blonde style.  She is now definitely a certifiable MILF now all she has to do is sit there and be seen and definitely not heard.

She A'ight

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So I am sitting next to my roommate watching Mike SIngeltary's Monday presser, I pulled up a picture of Rachel Uchitel aka Tiger's jump off and showed it to him.  He looks at the picture, let's out a sigh and in a remorseful apologetic tone says:

"I am sorry but you just can't turn that down, I mean, how could you?  It just isnt realistic"

The only thing that compares to winning a Major for Tiger is getting freaky with a hot hostess!

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Besides being the greatest golfer of all time and one of the most famous people currently walking the earth Tiger Woods also appears to be a world class snatch hound.  I just heard a voicemail he left for some broad telling her to switch up her outgoing message because his wife saw her name in his phone and was probably going to call her.  He sounded like your everyday sneaky husband trying cover his tracks (his high ass voice makes him sound extra douchey) - he definitely didn't sound like a living legend on the recording, plus shouldn't a guy like that have people that take care of that type of stuff for them?  Now i think its kinda messed up that he cheated on his wife and that it might lead to divorce and the toll it may take on his kids blah blah blah.  Just so you know those snot nosed kids are heirs to a billion dollar fortune and it's not like they would be spending tons of time with their dad anyway so I 'am not gonna shed a lot of tears for those little punks.  The good news here is that Tiger is into hot chicks!!!  Thank F-ing God!!! - so many athletes and celebrities these days are into dumpy plain janes ie Letterman, Roethlisberger,  and Bill Clinton.  Frank Sinatra wouldn't dream of taking an hand job under the dinner table from anything less than a 9.5.  The first broad Rachel Uchitel is supposedly a certified piece of ass that most guys would cut off a pinky toe to have sexual relations with.  Bottom line, this whole thing blows over, Tiger breaks Jack's Major's record and at the end he takes his place along with the Jordan's and Ali's of the world.  In the meantime he travels the world plays the best golf courses in the world and bangs out the hottest broads you've ever seen. Tough Life.

Jim Nantz ditched his old lady to get with a 29 year old - He also ditched $864k a year for the rest of his life.

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So apparently Jim Nantz's  laid eyes on a hot 29 year old poa and decided that his marriage and family and public persona were all expendable.  I have always loved Jim Nantz and the air of class and sophistication he brings to every telecast he does for CBS.  His "Welcome Friends" catchphrase at the beginning of the Master's every April might as well be translated into "goodbye winter and welcome to a glorious spring".  The guy had an amazing life, tons of dough, and respect from his peers.  Sheesh, the guy is best friends with Fred Couples, he is basically the personification of class.  Now we aren't exactly the religious right over here at Front Office Fans - but for some reason we are taking this kind of personally, it's like finding out that someone you looked at as a solid older figure is really just your run of the mill scum bag.  Jim Nantz will probably weather this storm, and regain his image as America's favorite gentleman sportscaster.  However we at Front Office Fans wont be forgetting anytime soon.

Hahaha just kidding...what the fuck do we care?- Get Yours Jimmy you pussy hungry son of a bitch!!!

"Who Anna Kournikova?... my last girlfriend was way hotter."

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It has been reported that Maria Sharapova and Sasha Vujacic were seen getting thisclose at a recent U2 Concert in Los Angeles.  Now, I wouldn't kick Sharapova out of bed for eating crackers, but I don't think she is the hottest chick in the tennis game and she definitely wouldn't make my top 5 list of good looking athlete ladies  A wise man once said

"There are two kinds of guys in this world, dudes who like Kournikova, and dudes who like Serena."

 Who do you think reigns supreme when it comes to babelisciousness on the court?

Steve Phillips had a career most of us can only dream about, and threw it all away because he just had to have sexy time with a much younger PA.  Major news outlets have shied away from the glaringly obvious fact that we all can see, that is one plug ugly broad.  So what kind of number would you give this Shrek look-a-like???