I was not aware of this, but thanks to the folks over at ESPN.com for taking what every sports fan already knows and repackaging that information into a painfully illustrative widget. Enter ESPN's Salary Crunch feature, which details exactly how little a professional athlete has to do before he exceeds your yearly salary. NHL goalie, Roberto Luongo for example, exceeds your $50K assistant executive junior VP salary just before he takes the ice for the third period on opening night (or 17.45 saves). Being compared to a hockey goalie comes with a particular sting, since he and I are paid to do pretty much the same thing.... namely, taking up space and looking busy. As depressing as it is, Salary Crunch widget is good for the latter, since it requires some typing and is guaranteed to leave your face looking like you just read a scathing email from your boss. Spoiler alert- that face peaks when the widget tells you that you will need to work for 106.67 years to earn Luongo's annual salary.
I don't know when this widget launched, but the timing seems just perfect-o...what with the economy in shambles, and soaring unemployment. Is there a better time to remind people how well they aren't doing? Why don't they really send us over the edge and compare their readers salaries to their own talent? How many tortured Rick Reilly metaphores is the average job worth? Here's the link if you want to go ruin your day...unless of course your name is Roberto Luongo, then you can just use it to effectively budget your time.