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That's the sound of T.O. and the 90's Buffalo Bills sharpening their pencils...

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...not to mention the rest of the NFC East.  As someone who spent a good portion of their childhood playing with fireworks, whether it be launching He-Man into space or detonating Castle Grayskull...this has got to be the coolest essay writing contest in the history of the world.  The official details haven't been announced but this much we know, Kraft Foods is sponsoring an essay contest for children (sorry Don Beebe) where the winner will have the honor of pressing a button, which will detonate tons of explosives, thus demolishing Texas Stadium. 

Where were these type of essay contests when I was a kid?  When I was in school  the prize for winning an essay contest, was the "opportunity" to read your essay aloud and maybe get a subscription to Boys Life out of the deal.  Big whoop! Explosions, now that's a prize worth winning.  The only problem with this contest is all the little pyromaniacs that it's going to draw out of the woodwork.  Those little freaks aren't acustomed to using pencils and paper for anything but kindling.  I'm worried that the only light many of these essays see will be at the business end of a shoplifted Zippo.